3 Tips to Transform Your Self-Care Regimen

By Jennifer Larson, LCPC, NCC, a NPN member since 2008

This article was originally posted in Neighborhood Parents Network’s (NPN) quarterly newletter. While this article is published in a publication geared towards parents and families, this article applies to everyone who wants 3 simple, but effective tips in starting, modifying, and maintaining their self-care regimen.

Some parents have sent their children off to school. And others are waiting eagerly or anxiously to send theirs in the upcoming days. It is usually this time of the year I am eager to remind folks the importance of engaging in a good self-care regimen. Many parents (and people in general) forget to prioritize one's needs and wants. 

Some of the clients I work with are adept at maintaining their work calendar, their children's school and extracurricular activities. And yet, usually these same individuals do not have a personal calendar and do not block off time for their personal needs and wants. 

In the spirit of full disclosure, I typically do not tell people what to do, but I rather offer encouragement and guidance. Options to explore and test out. Admittedly, I am passionate about self-care whether there are seasons in my life where I practice good self-care or not. I do highly encourage folks (ahem, kinda telling you) to begin to use a personal calendar or block off time in your calendar in effort to begin and transform your self-care regimen. You deserve and are worth it!

Want a little more information on how to transform your self-care?  Below is a short article I wrote for NPN earlier in the year that was published. It outlines 3 simple tips to transform your self-care. 

As an expectant parent or a seasoned parent, it is important to engage in good self-care in order to maintain well-being so you can be more available and effective with your family and their needs.

WHAT IS SELF CARE?

Establishing good self care is an act of self-respect -- it's a commitment to one’s own physical, emotional, mental, and social health.  Self care entails acknowledging the importance of and working towards one’s growth and balance. Self care means looking after yourself in all areas of your life. It entails knowing your own values, needs, and wants, and carving out time to meet those needs and wants. 

3 PRACTICAL TIPS TO TRANSFORM YOUR SELF-CARE REGIMEN

1.  Shift your internal dialogue. 

Begin to tell yourself, “I care about myself and I want to nurture myself. I deserve to live a fulfilling and balanced life.” Approaching a good self-care plan means putting yourself first at times. Putting oneself first is not an act of selfishness, but an act of self-respect.   

Start listening to your self-talk – your thoughts and feelings. Ask yourself what are my needs and wants versus what should I do. This is not to say that we don’t have obligations because we do. For example, we are obligated to meet the needs of our children. Engaging in good self-care is about learning how to listen and behave in ways that are congruent. Also, balancing what is required of us with behaving in ways that help to fulfill our needs and wants.   

2.  Begin to see how saying “no” allows you to say “yes” to other things. 

Many people have a difficult time saying "no" to people because they feel bad or believe they are always responsible for others. Or they become so focused on how others might perceive them that they end up neglecting or caring less about oneself. Try saying "no" to checking emails for an hour will allow me to say "yes" to reading a book. 

3.  Use your calendar as your ally. 

Our obligations easily fill up our calendar. Many people schedule work meetings, children's doctor's appointments, school functions, but neglect to put self-care in their calendar. As a result, people can feel tired, worn out, and disconnected.

Start putting time for you in your calendar. It helps to gain 3 various perspectives to better balance your responsibilities with your own personal needs and wants. View the immediate, short-term, and long-term. For instance, when looking at the immediate on your calendar, you see your week is filled with obligations during 3 weekday nights. Now, you can plug in some "me-time" during one of the other weekday nights or maybe a “date-night” or “hang out with friends” during one of the weekend nights.

Using these 3 steps will begin to transform your self-care regimen which will allow you to restore your inner strength and energy which will grant you greater capacity to be more available and present to the people that matter in your life, such as your own family.