Gentle Embodiment

By Concentric Counselor Emily King, LCPC, NCC

When I notice frustration with frenetic Chicago energy, I often turn my mind towards the mountains. Grounding through imagery has brought me time and time again to the mountains of my childhood. Mount Timpanogos is one of seven major peaks found along Utah’s Wasatch Mountain Range and one of my personal sources of peace.

Years ago, a friend and I began hiking just after midnight to try and reach the summit at sunrise. I‘m reminded of the repetition of those first few hours hiking before daybreak. With time and the quiet repetition of climbing an unfamiliar trail, the mindless chatter of thoughts and anxieties shifted towards personal introspection. Early morning hiking requires a kind of concentration which often feels personally out of reach. I find such comfort within the continuous echo of climbing and breathwork.

The movement allowed me to shift into an individually rare meditative state as I began processing painful dissonance and identity uncertainty. As sunshine began to warm my face and the night became day, a knowing settled into my mind and body. My desire to fully separate from the insular religious culture I had always known and finally accept my queerness was made clear. I can point to those early morning hours as the beginning of my embodiment journey.

The renowned trauma specialist and founder of the Somatic Experiencing (SE) method, Dr. Peter Levine, teaches that embodiment is the joining of one’s cognitive awareness and body-based sensations. The awareness and acceptance that our body is our own. The integration of somatic skills including resourcing, pendulation, and titration can encourage embodiment through gentle reminders that we are more than our minds. More than the solitude of sadness or the suffocation of anxiety.

Resourcing – Resourcing is the practice of inviting our mind/body to attune to sensations of safety or goodness, however small they may be. The process of attending to a felt sense of “okay-ness,” can aid in teaching our nervous system that it can experience stress and return to a state of calm. My resourcing involved intentionally bringing my awareness to that of my social community while allowing that awareness to be felt versus merely imagined.

Pendulation – Pendulation is the natural rhythm between states of expansion and contraction in the nervous system. A resilient nervous system is one that can move back and forth between alertness and action, and calm and rest without getting stuck at either extreme. Pendulation on my hike included allowing introspective moments to be interrupted by levity with my friend and fellow hikers.

Titration – Less is more, slow is best. Titration is the allowing of and honoring one’s desire to not disclose, to pause, and to separate throughout the healing process. I view titration as the autonomous ability to allow our healing to unfold naturally.

For many, it may not feel safe or possible to tune into one’s body sensations or felt sense. The felt sense may be seen as a source of trauma, pain, or hatred. So as not to reactivate our nervous system without proper preparation, it’s important to allow for versus demand embodiment. Trauma aware embodiment is marked by autonomy, invitations, and the ability to pause.

Meeting our body’s cues with curiosity can be one conduit for embodiment. I often encourage gentle movement and breathwork throughout the healing process as an invitation towards the embodied self. When noticing feelings of stuckness or judgment and for those who feel safe when engaging in breathwork, we can return again and again to our breath. Finding sources of anchoring and safety in one’s breath can allow us to join our bodies and orient to the present. Gentle embodiment communicates that we can shift the relationship with our bodies from one of contempt and disregard to one of safety and strength.

Reflection Prompts: Allow this to be a gentle reflective process where you can begin to tune into your body and mind.

·       Inviting a few moments of awareness, begin to notice a few body-based stressors (i.e., physical pain, clothing, sensory distress or overload, etc.).

·       Which emotions arise when noticing such sensations and stressors?

·       What might you need to anchor to your felt sense and validate your emotional experience?

·       Inviting you to call to mind ways others have supported you through body-based stress in the past. Noticing sensations linked to memories of support.

·       For each stressor, identify one compassion-based statement to turn towards when in distress. If possible, pairing the statement with gentle breathwork or tension/release movements can be incredibly regulating.

Utilizing moving meditation and reflective journaling can increase our ability to safely settle into ourselves, eventually inviting gentle embodiment. While individual and systematic barriers may discourage particular forms of mind/body awareness, my hope remains that embodiment can one day be seen as an accessible and democratized therapeutic tool. I know that the process of intentionally learning to notice and understand my body’s role in my healing has felt incredibly freeing.

Heal!

By Concentric Counselor Jordan Perlman, LPC, NCC

The following post is based on the documentary "Heal", Written, Directed, and Produced by Kelly Noonan Gores and Produced by Adam Schomer. "Heal" can be streamed on Netflix and/or iTunes or purchased on DVD or book from www.healdocumentary.com.

What If Mind Over Matter Is True?

Contrary to what many of us have been told, the latest science supports the belief that we are far from victims of unchangeable genes. We can control our health and life by taking a holistic approach to healing. One that remembers just how intelligent the body is and the way our thoughts, emotions, and beliefs affect our overall health. Therefore, healing begins in the mind and can be extremely complex and deeply personal. To treat oneself, one needs to get to the root of what caused the imbalance in the first place.

According to Joan Borysenko, Ph.D., "90% of what takes people to the doctors is stress-related illnesses". "Stress" is a broad term and can be broken down into three primary sources, all of which can knock our brain and body out of balance:

• Physical (accidents, injuries, falls, physical traumas)

• Chemical (bacteria and viruses, hormones in food, heavy metals, hangovers, blood sugar levels)

• Emotional (family tragedies, loss, job, bullying, finances, emotional and sexual trauma, and neglect)  

Most interventions focus exclusively on physical and chemical sources of stress, leading doctors to overprescribe medications that treat the problem's symptoms without addressing the cause, which can often be emotional. A dependence on pharmaceuticals temporarily fixes the symptoms yet this approach neglects the root emotional cause. For many, this approach leads to the development of additional symptoms/diagnoses as a result of the untreated root imbalance. One way to combat this model's limitations is to focus on a holistic healing approach that emphasizes the internal environment that focuses on disease’s emotional causes. Therefore, every person is the architect of their healing and their destiny.

The Incredible Power of the Autonomic Nervous System

Our systems are incredibly smart and adaptive, and long ago, this primed us to face threats that we no longer meet in modern times. Although this function once served us well, it can cause us a bit of trouble in today's society. For example, the nervous system that once primed us for survival in the face of a Saber-Toothed Tiger looks more like an upcoming work meeting that we're anxious about or a fight with our partner. In either case, the untrained nervous system often can't tell the difference and releases Cortisol, Adrenaline, and Noradrenaline designed to mobilizes your energy to run away from and/or fight the predator. When that happens in response to incidents that don't require that level of response, we might be operating outside our windows of tolerance far more frequently than is sustainable.

According to Stem Cell Biologist and Author Bruce Lipton (Ph.D.), when you perceive a threat, your body activates the Adrenal System (fight or flight). Whether you're preparing for an exam or fighting off an attacker, the result is the same, and the Adrenal System is activated. When this starts in response to a relatively benign threat, often, it increases negative, disease-causing consequences. Over time, this chronically impairs your:

• Memory

• Concentration

• Digestion

• Elimination of toxins

• Immune system

This impairment is due to resources being mobilized from the gut, elimination system, immune system, and higher brain centers. The resources are reallocated into the muscles to fight/flight for your life, which is excellent when used in a true life or death situation. However, when this frequently happens, as a result of let’s say chronic stress, this can cause pH levels to rise. If pH levels are high, this leads to an acidic body. An acidic body causes inflammation that, in turn, destroys the body and causes disease. Therefore, it is vital to reduce stress in the body to reduce inflammation and reduce disease. 

The Placebo/Nocebo Effect on Healing

To access our full healing potential, we have to get our minds on board with the belief we can heal. One way to do this is to focus on creating tonic thoughts as tonic thoughts produce tonic chemicals, while toxic thoughts produce toxic chemicals. If we're not careful, our thoughts and beliefs can prevent us from healing even with the best medical intervention. Therefore, if I change my perception (the mind) and change my view about life (and healing), I change the signals adjusting the cells' function, which has enormous implications. 

Although the Placebo Effect is not entirely understood, a consensus assumes that our minds can control the body. The Placebo Effect relies on positive thinking or believing that an intervention can heal by being open to the possibility of getting better via a "treatment" without an actual chemical, physical intervention or remedy. Many have heard of the Placebo Effect (commonly discussed when looking at research). Yet, there is a lesser-known and equally influential phenomenon that also has the potential to alter your life, known as the Nocebo Effect.

The Nocebo Effect occurs from negative thinking, which can cause illness and disease and even cause death. As a result, the power of belief or "mind over matter", is almost everything. Whatever you are thinking and believing in a given moment, your immune system is either told to "stop working" because we have to respond to a stressor, or "everything is cool." In the first example, the Sympathetic Nervous System is activated and pulling resources from the body's other functions. The latter is a parasympathetic response, which puts the body in a mode ideal for rest/digest/healing; your beliefs toggle that switch.

The experience of Dr. Joe Dispenza illustrates an example of the incredible Placebo Effect in action (Read his full story here). In 1986, at the age of 23, Dr. Joe Dispenza was run over by an SUV while competing in a triathlon in Palm Springs, California, and was paralyzed. Instead of opting for the high-risk surgeries recommended to him by his doctors, he focused on using visualization to move his paralyzed limbs and imagined his shattered spine mending. By the power of his mind, Joe was able to make a full recovery, which further supports the notion that one's beliefs can shift biology. 

The Conscious/Subconscious Mind

The Placebo/Nocebo Effect also extends to Epigenetics, which tells us that our environment can select cells' genetic activity. Our beliefs affect our nervous system, and then our nervous system sends information about its environment. The cells adjust to interact with the world, which stems from consciousness, which is an interpretation of one’s perceived reality. Therefore, my mind is interpreting my environment; by changing the environment, or the perception of their environment, one can control their genetic activity. This takes people from a space of being victims of hereditary to a master of gene activity capable of creating a different reality. 

All of this sounds relatively simple, right? Wrong. The majority of this process is unconscious, which complicates things exponentially. We know that our Conscious Mind and our Subconscious Mind are two interdependent minds that work together. When the conscious mind is engaged in thinking, the subconscious mind is the autopilot's default program, carrying out whatever chore needs doing. The subconscious mind is comprised of downloading (mostly) other people's behaviors. Think of your Mother, Father, siblings, and community during the first seven years of your life when you're essentially a sponge to the world, absorbing other's patterns with little discretion. When our environment growing up is healthy, that's excellent news. However, that's not the reality for many who grew up with less than ideal upbringings.

Regardless of your situation, we all developed blueprints on coping and processing emotions based on what we saw growing up. For some, these memories may not have fully developed, leading to reexperiencing that unprocessed memory every time we get triggered as if it's happening for the first time. One can attempt to outrun the subconscious mind. Though to heal, it's crucial to face it, see the problem, and recognize the systems and stressors as meaningful and intelligent and necessary to wake us up to our patterns to choose a different way. These unconscious beliefs are often running our lives. By asking, "what is this pain or disease trying to tell me?" you can create space for answers to come (Pro-tip: you can use that trick with any thought, feeling, memory, behavior, and you might be surprised what might come up). Additionally, therapy can help make the unconscious conscious, helping release stuck energy trapped in the body via processing previously unprocessed emotions and memories. 

Factors Scientifically Proven to Contribute to Healing

So now that you know you're more in control of your healing than perhaps previously thought, what can YOU do about it? First and foremost, healing cannot occur while you're chronically operating in a state of Sympathetic Nervous System (fight/flight) activation. One must move into the Parasympathetic Nervous System (rest/digest) to heal. There are a variety of ways to do this, and some of them are listed below.

Meditation

Based on the research by Dr. Herbert Benson, meditation is said to "shut down fight or flight response and stimulate the parasympathetic (relaxing) nervous system of the body. Meditation has the potential to relieve stress, purify the mind, and purify consciousness. Meditation connects us to our core being or core consciousness (soul or Self). While in meditation, the Pituitary Gland releases Oxytocin, Dopamine, Relaxant, Serotonin, Endorphins when making a spiritual connection. It's an internal process that can switch on like a light switch when we take a moment to connect.

If meditation isn't your jam, try going for a walk in nature or another activity that shuts off your mind and causes breathing to slow to a feeling of unshakable peace. Even something as simple as imagining someone is sending you love, helping you, holding you, can help you heal. By visualization alone, your body releases Oxytocin which is associated with increased natural killer cells and increased white blood cells (which trigger an immune response) necessary for healing.

Support Systems

Surround yourself with people that provide support and love versus adding to your fear. For those in your life that contribute to fear, can you explore healthy boundaries to support more beneficial relationships? As tricky as relationships can be, humans are hard-wired for connection. It’s essential to establish and nourish healthy relationships with others.

Gratitude

Gratitude can help boost your immune system, cause feelings of happiness, and help you shift your world view; think Placebo Effect! When we learn lousy news, a common emotion is fear or sadness. Regardless of what is said, if you fear, a positive thought will never reach the body. Fear triggers fight/flight response in the brainstem, which takes our emotional state out of alignment and offline. Suppose you can change your emotional state into one of gratitude. In that case, you believe whatever you're grateful for has already happened. Primed with gratitude, when you say the thought or new belief, your body can receive it, and your body responds accordingly. The more we can feel the feeling as if the feeling is, our body is triggered to grow the nerve cells to make the connections to trigger the brain chemistry to reflect the healing.          

You might consider starting a gratitude practice. For some, this can look like writing down a few things you are grateful for each day. For others, you might pair mentally recalling things you're thankful for while doing an activity such as showering or brushing your teeth.

9 Healing Factors Associated with Radical Remissions 

Kelly Turner, Ph.D. (researcher, author) discovered in her research studying case studies and interviews from those around the world who experienced radical remissions from their illnesses, the nine key healing factors (listed below). Dr. Turner found radical remissions for every single type of cancer occurring in various stages. She found over 75 different things that people have tried to get well, though not everyone used all 75 factors. In her research, she discovered that everyone who got well used these 9 (note only 2 of the following are physical, the rest are mental, emotional, and spiritual):

1. Radically changing your diet

2. Taking control of your health

3. Following your intuition

4. Using herbs and supplements

5. Releasing suppressed emotions

6. Increased positive emotions

7. Embracing social support

8. Deepening your spiritual connection

9. Has a strong reason for living

Counseling

Specifically, to explore patterns (the way our thoughts, feelings, behaviors all influence each other) and shadow (subconscious) work. It's beneficial to have a trusted confidant outside your social network to: vent to, sort through feelings, identify unhealed wounds, process emotions in a healthy way, work to implement behavior changes, find healthier coping mechanisms, assess and enforce healthier boundaries, and help you identify areas where you can move from a space of surviving to thriving.

Conclusion

In conclusion, by doing different things, making other choices, getting beyond certain emotions, and overcoming limited thinking, more possibilities begin to open up. That's when magical things start to happen in a person's life. That tells us that seemingly incurable illnesses are reversible by focusing on the whole person and root causes of disease versus symptoms, which traditional Western medicine tends to focus on. Conventional medicine relies on the old belief system stating illness is tied to genetics and biochemistry, requiring prescriptions to treat these ailments. However, many believe that very few diseases are truly organic (as a result of genetics). The rest is due to the consequences of dealing with chronic stress. According to Dr. Deepak Chopra, medicine is useful in 10% of acute illnesses (physical traumas, emergency, injuries, infections). He recommends a holistic approach to treat chronic diseases (cancer, heart disease, auto-immune diseases. A holistic approach treats the mind, body, emotions, and energetic body, shifting your experience of mind, body, emotions. 

Remember, we regulate ourselves with the choices we make in our lives. Based on what we think, feel, believe, and specifically, the emotions we choose to respond to create what life brings us. It pays to make your mind a healthy place to be. 

Essential Workers & COVID: Time and Space for You

By Concentric Psychotherapist Kylie Cherpes, LCSW, MFT-IT, CYT

In times of great stress, such as now with the COVID-19 pandemic, we each find that we have our own unique way of getting through. Some people find comfort by burrowing in at home and disconnecting from constant reminders of their fears. Others juggle between caring for their vulnerable loved ones and carving out time to connect with the support that they themselves need. Some turn their stress into energy towards solving problems or creating something new. While others hit the ground running, called to serve their community. Though we are all under cumulative stress and doing our best to face changes in our day-to-day norms, some, such as Essential Workers, are being impacted exponentially. Essential Workers are being asked to do more and risk more, all while having less access to what would normally help them respond to and recover from their stress.  

Essential Workers continue their work in environments physically underprepared for a pandemic. In a time that feels precarious, Essential Workers are asked both to stay calm and to stay flexible while managing ever-changing recommendations on how to keep their workplace, selves, and families safe. They spend hours reading, learning, and preparing protocols and responses to “what-if” scenarios that breed uncertainty and anxiety. Even after all of the precautions they take, they wonder if it will be enough to keep their work-family safe. When they leave work to go home they find it hard to relax as guilt, worry, and fear about possibly carrying the virus home to their loved ones enters their mind. Though they may have reached for their family and friends for help, love, and reassurance before, it now seems too risky. Where they would go for support and stress relief before, like churches, gyms, bars, and social outings, are no longer options. And even when there is time for it, it is hard to get restful sleep. 

When unable to respond to stress, especially on-going (chronic) or traumatic stress, the body, mind, emotions, and spirit start to show wear and tear. Those under chronic stress may notice that raw feelings such as fear, anger, helplessness, and sadness seem to be lingering, or other common changes such as an increase in irritability, numbness, bitterness, or detachment (that “spaced-out” or “distant” feeling). Chronic stress can also show up as headaches, stomach aches, and muscle pain, or changes in appetite and sleep. Sometimes those under chronic stress may not even be the first to notice the impact it is having, but instead, those closest to them do. For instance, slips in memory or ability to recall information, mistakes at work that used to be uncommon, or shifts in hygiene and self-care regime may be noticed by work colleagues. Family and friends of those under chronic stress may see their loved one’s constant exhaustion, zoning out, adopting an abnormally cynical outlook on life, or lacking the ability to find pleasure in things they had once experienced as enjoyable. 

As therapists, we can close gaps in the care being offered to Essential Workers by providing access to the mental and emotional support they deserve. To support Essential Workers’ day-to-day functioning and healing, we hold space for them to process and release stress and trauma. Just as each Essential Worker has their own unique way of responding to their stress and trauma, each therapist has their own unique approach and is able to tailor care to each individual they work with. Whether it be brief or long-term, therapy is a safe place for self-expression and a secure place to find relief from fears, anxieties, anger, and sadness. Further, therapy is a place of creativity and strategy, used for building coping skills to reduce distress and restore feelings of stability and hope. 

At this time, we know that the Coronavirus is not going away anytime soon and that things may indeed get worse before they get better. We also know Essential Workers will continue to be asked to bear the brunt of this pandemic with limited space (time, resources, and support) to respond to their stress in their own unique ways. It is not an option to wait to address the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs resulting from the chronic and traumatic stress being endured by our Essential Workers. Unaddressed chronic and traumatic stress does not just go away, it accumulates. As therapists, we see the effects of these stressful days mounting on our Essential Workers, and we respond to say, “We are your Allies.”

Special Announcement: During April through May 2020, Concentric Counseling & Consulting is offering short-term telehealth and virtual video counseling to Essential Workers during these challenging times due to Coronavirus (COVID-19). We are all incredibly grateful for all that you do and we want to give back! You can use your health insurance for teletherapy. Also, for those who do not have insurance coverage or have certain insurance plans and have endured financial hardship due to the impact of COVID, we are offering sliding fee and pro bono to a limited number of Essential Workers.

How to Open a Door When Coronavirus is Closing our Doors

By Concentric Owner Jennifer Larson, LCPC, NCC

Originally posted in The Sounds newspaper, Volume 43, Number 15 on April 4, 2020 and later in published in the Illinois Mental Health Counselors Association (IMHCA), a division of Illinois Counseling Association (ICA), News Update. Click here.

You know the saying “When One Door Closes, Another Door Opens”? During this time, we can’t help to notice closed doors everywhere, from schools to restaurants to places of worship to retailers. Even our home doors are closed, keeping others away and containing us inside.  It may seem overly optimistic to think this quote holds true during this extraordinary and challenging time with COVID-19 knocking on everyone’s door.  Alarm bells are sounded within us daily, the threats are real and experienced by so many, and some of us feel our life has been hijacked.  So how can we during this time envision doors opening up or experience something positive from all of this? 

I am by no means suggesting doors are flying wide-open given the sheer number of doors that are literally closed and even locked. But, if you can take a moment to pause, focus and be intentional, you may find that you can open doors to otherwise missed opportunities. 

Psychotherapist and author Esther Perel states when faced with our own existential anxieties it can open the door to fully living.  Some of us may have been living life on auto-pilot depriving ourselves of certain reflections, experiences or opportunities. So, what does living fully exactly mean?

It can mean a lot of things, but to start, it can mean experiencing each moment and each day in the here-and-now noticing and appreciating all of life’s offerings. Perhaps you had been more disconnected from yourself, no longer appreciating your talents, thoughts, feelings and your body’s capabilities -- which you can now fully appreciate.  Or taking a moment to get out of your head to be fully present and connected with another person can offer you an opportunity to be transported, experiencing life through a different lens other than your own.  Also, fully activating your senses can bring about a subtle, yet powerful sense of fully living.  Consider next time you take a walk outside, notice all of your surroundings paying attention to each of your senses. Notice your positive feelings as you attune to your senses.  

Shawn Achor, an educator, researcher, and author, offers a number of research-based ways to live a happier life. One of them is to take a few minutes each day to write down 1 positive experience within the last 24 hours and provide 3 rich details about that experience. Also, write down your gratitudes, giving specific details.  And reach out to someone to fully express why you appreciate them.  We know giving to others not only makes us feel better, but helps the person on the receiving end feel happier too.

And last, what is something you can look forward to when the shelter-at-home Executive Order is lifted and you can bust out the sheltered seams?  Will it be something specific such as dining at your favorite restaurant?  A ritual or practice you will reacquaint with again?  For me, it will be telling myself “I get to go here or I get do this” which represents a door opening into seeing how choice and freedom are true gifts.

The Trap of Anxiety and Trauma

By Concentric Owner Jennifer Larson, LCPC, NCC

Driving my car in my early adult years filled me with freedom and curiosity. Didn’t matter if I was driving by myself, on city streets, highways or traversing the deserts of Arizona, I loved driving. Toggling between radio stations to find the right tune, opening up the windows to feel the fresh air hitting my face and throwing my hair around, hanging out with my thoughts, or being mesmerized by the pink and purple hues of Arizona’s sunsets were met and felt with ease, peace, and freedom. Fast forward several years later, and my experience of driving catapults me into feelings and sensations of feeling trapped and crippled by anxiety, panic attacks, and at times, dissociation.

To read the entire blog post on the Anxiety Relief Project’s website, please click here.

Finding Balance Between Healthy and Unhealthy Anxiety

By Concentric Counselor Charles Weiss, LPC

There are 10 seconds left of the clock in the state championship game and your team is down by 2 points.  You have the ball and the fate of the team is in your hands on what will you do next, either pass or take the game winning shot.  Sweat is protruding down your face, your heart is beating a thousand miles a hour, your mind is racing with a million and one different case scenarios on what you should do and then your anxiety starts to take over.  However, you realized that your anxiety has allowed you to think quicker on your feet and make better decisions, because you don’t let it control and consume you.  3, 2, 1 and throw up a prayer of shot from about 35 feet away from the basket, knowing that being vulnerable to your anxiety, you can live with the consequences…  Swish!  Game over and you have just won the state championship for your team.

Anxiety… What is it and what does to mean to us when it begins to take control; do we let it control our consciousness or embrace it as an opportunity of growth and self-discovery?  According to dictionary.com, anxiety is defined as “a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.”

When outcomes are uncertain to us in which we want to control, but can’t, anxiety can consume our every decision, thought and feeling.  It leads to panic, fear and vulnerability to the unknown, having us over-analyze every decision we make, postulating those “what if” scenarios.  Anxiety can so debilitating to someone when it’s severe and impacts our day-to-day activities.  Plain and simple, anxiety can suck!  Nobody wants to constantly live a life of panic, fear, worry and dread, wondering all the time, “What if?” When you let anxiety take control and inhibit your ability to just be “you”, it becomes unhealthy.

Is there a way to gain back that control over anxiety before it begins to consume us, crippling our sense of self and being vulnerable to “What if…?”  Anxiety is your body’s indication that something isn’t right, like a built-in warning system indicating that your homeostasis might be out of balance.  When we listen to our body as it talks to us and yes, our body does speak to us, you can begin to prepare and embrace for its impact and figure out how to manage it. Certain symptoms to be mindful of that can alert us when something “isn’t right” and anxiety begins to manifest itself within us, are the following:

·        Racing thoughts

·        Irritability

·        Headaches

·        Nausea/upset stomach

·        Disturbed sleep

·        Muscle tension/tightness

·        Shortness of breath

·        Mind going blank

·        Difficulty concentrating/focusing

·        Fatigued

·        Palpitations

When we are able to listen to these symptoms we experience, then we can to things to keep these symptoms in check before they exacerbate. Taking the time to do a body scan, deep breathing exercises, mindfulness exercises, progressive muscle relaxation techniques can all help keep the heightened level of anxiety at bay.

Can anxiety be healthy?

Anxiety can also be a way to motivate yourself to reach your goals and achievements that you have established.  It can better help prepare yourself to face as well as overcome challenges. When we approach anxiety as a hindrance, it can become unhealthy. You can instead capitalize on it as more of a way to inspire your self-growth and to live a more authentic life.  According to Katharina Star, Ph.D., anxiety is another way people can be more empathetic towards other people’s issues and concerns, and help with how they interact with others. She also stated that individuals who struggle with anxiety are often more cautious thinkers, problem solvers and decision makers because they are often building-in “back-up plans” for when things go wrong. 

Bottom line, anxiety isn’t always bad and unhealthy when individuals experience it, it can be a way people thrive if they are able to recognize it, understand it, and know how to cope and properly channel the healthy aspects of it. People can still live fully authentic lives when experiencing anxiety, it’s when it takes control and we begin to panic, that derails aspects of our lives.

If you are experiencing at least 3 symptoms of anxiety, that have been affecting your ability to function on a day-to-day basis in a variety of settings (i.e.: school, work, home) and those symptoms have been occurring for at least 6 months in which you find it very difficult to control that worry and anxiety, please contact your local mental health provider and schedule an appointment with a professional who can help you learn how to regain control over your anxiety and transform it into a healthier form of anxiety for you. 

Is Your Saw Dull? A Self-Care Mandate Is Your Sharpening Tool→

By Concentric Counselor Stacey Kiran, LSW

This blog post goes out to anyone who has said to themselves recently, “I really need a break.” or “I have no time to relax!” I am here to tell you – Your time has come! Huzzah! I am going to provide all readers with a Relax and Self-Care Mandate.  My purpose for this mandate stems from learning the importance of self-care in graduate school. During grad school, students are told to 'take care of yourself' so often, it felt like a mandate.  And I often found myself thinking, “I wish someone would have forced me to take care of myself before grad school, I could’ve used it then, too!”

Are you feeling burnt out from the grind of work and life?  Noticing negative effects of this routine in your personal or even work relationships? Do you feel you are missing out on some understanding of your your family or friends' experiences? If you answered yes, you may be experiencing empathy-deficit for others.  Also known as compassion fatigue in the field of counseling and therapy.  

Maybe you will need to first ask yourself “Is empathy important to my relationships?” If that is a question that is hard for you to answer, I am going to point you to the Queen of Empathy, Dr. Brene Brown. She has a short, fun cartoon for you to watch on the importance of empathy, check it out here. 

The article Self Care as an Ethical Imperative offers the story of a person sawing down a tree with a dull saw. Try to tell that person to take a moment to sharpen their knife and they say “I don’t have time to sharpen it! I am too busy sawing!” Well, you can easily imagine using a dull saw will wear on that person, making that person feel depleted and disconnected. This same story applies to many people.  I am sure you may feel like you are a personal or professional lumberjack in your life.  For example, caregivers (including therapists) are in the role of taking care of others, but may feel too busy to take of oneself.  Or people who are not necessarily in the helping role, but who go through the daily grind may feel there is not enough time to nourish oneself. 

So, I ask you, "How's your saw?" Finding yourself too busy or depleted to pause and sharpen your saw?  In graduate school, I was taught the role of a therapist needs to take time for self-nourishment. If you don't take care of yourself, you can't responsibly help others.  Relax and Self-Care Mandate. 

Then from Mandate to Practice.  Let me get to the point here - I am talking about moving away from a Mandate to a Practice. It’s not like I never heard the term Self-Care before grad school. But, in grad school, the phrase Self-Care began to mean something much more to me than “Go to an exercise class.” It meant ask yourself, "Am I feeling okay?"  "What is my body telling me I need?" And, be honest. Because if you are not feeling okay and you ignore it, you could burn out at work or at home or burn the candle at both ends. What is the cost of you continuing your life while still burnt out? The cost is the energy you could be curating and nurturing that can go in to a better tomorrow, a better you, and better relationships.

Many people reach out to therapy to improve themselves and their relationships.  If you want to better your relationships– start by relaxing. Sounds counterintuitive? Well, like non-nourished therapists who cannot responsibly help their clients, can you take care of your loved ones if you are depleted?  Be fully present?  Can you be empathetic towards the people you care about? 

In grad school, I kept finding myself think I want empathy in my personal life, not just my professional. I want to be present in my personal relationships.  I want my loved ones to present to me!  Why should this only be taught to grad students in the field of social work or counseling?  Or to therapists? It shouldn't be reserved for a select few.

So, I want to pass along this important information by first giving you a Relax and Self-Care Mandate.  Followed by a simple, but yet effective step-by-step guide to help you move into Relax and Self-Care Practice.                                                                                                            

1. Ask yourself, “How do I feel?” – You can ask yourself this question at anytime: every morning, or when you notice yourself doing something you don’t particularly like (i.e. eating an entire large pizza), or when you are doing something or know you will soon be doing something that is stressful (visiting family, perhaps). And this is a good one, if you find yourself fighting against something that usually helps you (i.e. listening to music when sad or going to yoga after work – be aware of those feelings! Listen to them!)

2. Listen to yourself. Closely. Carefully. With compassion and non-judgment. Judging yourself will only prolong your path to feeling good or better. (Hint – You can tell that your Critic is speaking in this part of the Practice if you feel small. Your truest, most helpful answers here will always make you feel more open, not smaller.)

3. Ask yourself, “What do I need?” – non-judging is the name of the game. And dare to dream! You can also pose the question “What is standing in my way of feeling however you want to feel. (This is a concept from the book I recommend, Focusing by Eugene Gendlin, Ph.D.).

4. If you can’t hear the answer, then close your eyes. Often when I cannot hear an answer, I just need a break to think about it and to listen, carefully. Think about it. If you can’t hear an answer about what you need for yourself, then chances are that you can’t hear others’ needs. And, you can't be as present in life. So take a break until you can get an answer.

5. Follow through. Your answer appears to you, and now you need to connect, commit and follow through. For instance you find yourself wanting or needing a break or vacation. Let's say you have no PTO. Find a way to give yourself the break, even if it's taking an afternoon off.

And, in closing, I want to remind you – when things get shaken up (could be due to a stressful life event, positive transition, recurrent memories, trouble in relationships), our Relax and Self-Care Practice may need to begin to include the use of a professional therapist.  I invite you to utilize the tools and guide I have learned for my own Relax and Self-Care Practice. Following your internal instincts of what you need is not just good Self-Care, it is, ultimately, being true to yourself, which may feel foreign in a life of meeting others’ expectations.

It is possible to follow your own voice, meet your own needs, and be true to yourself in a life of others’ needs. And, if you have children, loved ones, or employees looking to you for example or direction, you may model to those little ones, loved ones, or employees that it is OK and appropriate for them, too, to take care of themselves. So, get out there and sharpen your knife.  Engage in your Relax and Self-Care Practice.  And, start enjoying your life!